theatlas | [open!]

[ He lets he come right up, for once just too anxious by their surroundings to make a comment about being alone together. It's not readily apparent in the line of his body, though he stands just that much straighter, the line of his shoulders tense. ]

Well if this looks like what you know, which button do you think we should try first? 'Probably' doesn't accomplish much.

[ He's no Keith, but he knows they need to try something. Some of the dials are flickering, holding just enough power to flash gently. ]

... Okay. I'll try something. But don't get mad if something blows up.

[JUST SAYING.

She bites her bottom lip and tries a combination of buttons based on a hunch. Here goes nothing...]

[ He's about to say she's not exactly inspiring confidence, when suddenly the terminal lights up, whatever sequence Ahsoka had input triggering a response. ]

Holy crow! It works! You're a genius! [ His effusive tone is tempered by his still-tense body language, waiting perhaps for the whole thing to go belly-up like she'd said. It doesn't, though: instead, it explodes into light, surrounding them with a hundred thousand glowing dots, each carefully labelled and charted in a language neither of them can grasp. Lance gasps. ]

Whoa. Is this some kinda star map? [ His heart hammers in his ribcage. ] Can you read anything?

It looks like, yes.

[She studies it for a moment, before figuring how to use the tech to zoom out. She makes a vaguely unsatisfied noise, before zooming out again. Then again. And again, until it doesn't let her zoom out any further.]

... I can't read the script, but I'm not familiar with any of these planets. And my knowledge of the galaxy is better than most.

[ The tension doesn't drain out of him as Ahsoka actions the machine, his grip white-knuckled on the edge of the terminal. He has his gaze locked on the stars, eyes wide to try and capture every detail, trying as hard as he can to identify anything—anything—that might, just maybe, bring him home.

But there's nothing. No constellations he recognizes, in no script he can read, and Ahsoka just keeps zooming, out and out and out until each planet is no bigger than the head of a pin, stars no bigger than his smallest fingernail. His throat feels tight. He doesn't realize he'd been holding onto hope until it flies right out of him like a freed bird. He ducks his head, feeling foolish. ]

Yeah, whatever. [ Like a rope snapped from holding too much weight, his voice is rough, sharp. ] I don't know what I expected.

[She'd been absorbed in looking at the star chart, but when Lance says that, Ahsoka turns her head to look at him. Her eyebrows furrow slightly in confusion.]

... Lance? ... What's wrong?

[You don't have to be able to read the Force to know something is amiss here, when he'd been so excitable a moment ago.]

It's nothing. [ He says it instantly, without thinking, still feeling peevish at himself. It manifests in him lashing out, kicking one of the terminals hard enough that it nearly blinks back to life--only to die again. ] It's just...stupid.

[ They've been stuck on this God-forsaken dust ball for days now, they're running out of water, and they've only just found some kind of steady food source—and that was only because a few of their number stuck their necks out. All of that, all the panic and the exhaustion, for what? For this? ]

You wouldn't get it.

Maybe. Maybe not. ... Why don't you try me?

[ He huffs, pauses long enough to turn towards her and watch her, expression uncharacteristically pulled taut. He draws a breath. ]

I miss Earth, okay? [ It comes out in a long frustrated exhale. ] I miss home, and I just—wish that for once, for just once I could catch a break. [ He assumes she'll find that dumb. He's already on the defensive, bristling. ] Look, I know that all this—[ he motions around them ]—stuff is old hat to you? But...

[ He has to stop. He ducks his head again, his jaw tight. He hates how his voice wobbles. Talking to Coran about this, ensconced in the safety of the Castle of Lions, felt vastly different from this, the knowledge that he could very well die out here hanging over his head. ]

Whatever. I told you it was stupid, so just leave me alone.

... You're homesick.

[Of course he's homesick. Isn't that only natural? Most people feel that way. Ahsoka feels that way, sometimes. But in her case, Ahsoka's "home" doesn't exist anymore. She's homesick for a time and place she can never return to. There's no point in dwelling on it, so she never pays those feelings any attention.

Lance, on the other hand-- Lance's home still exists.]

It's not stupid. I'm sure everyone here feels like that.

Edited 2016-11-03 02:11 (UTC)

Yeah, well—yeah, well...

[ He crouches between the lines of terminals, his weight heavy in his heels, and frowns deeply at his knees, trying to ignore the stinging in his eyes. ]

Blue picked me. [ Ten thousand years in a cave, just for him to come along, or something. He can't imagine his life without the Blue Lion, but also he can, and he feels guilty about it. ] It's my job, this is my life now, I can't just go, you know?

[ What he's trying to say is: even if he could go back to Earth, the choice is already made.

Pidge almost had, when it was her brother and father on the line; Lance thinks that if it was his parents out there, or any of his sisters and brothers, he'd have done the same. But as it stands the responsibility weighs on him like an iron cloak, the knowledge that the only thing between Earth and the Galra is them.

In a few weeks, or a few months, or maybe a few years, he'll probably be like Ahsoka, not paying any mind to those feelings, too busy worrying on a thousand other things. But right now, the ocean is too fresh in his mind. ]

Your job?

... Oh. You mean, with Voltron...?

Yeah. [ He sniffs. ] The lions pick us. We're bonded. I couldn't just ditch Blue, we're...connected. It's just tough, you know?

[ It wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting out of his career. ]

I understand that.

[Boy does she ever.]

But... you can go home in between missions, right? It's not like Earth is gone.

[ He blinks, and it dawns on him that he'd failed to communicate the most salient point, the crux of the issue. ]

Wh—no, Ahsoka. I can't just go back to Earth. Even if it wasn't way too far for even Blue to reach on her own, the Galra would follow me there. I'd be painting a target all over my own planet.

How would they know you were there...?

[ He rubs his face with the heels of his hands. ]

You don't get it—Zarkon's been after the lions for ten thousand years. He couldn't track them when they were hidden, but now that they're awake? Forget it, there's nowhere we can go before the Galra come hunting.

[ Sighing, he looks up at the ceiling's flickering lights, eyes red. ]

My mom doesn't even know I'm out here...what if she thinks I'm dead?

[She pads over to Lance and puts a hand on his shoulder.]

I'm sure she doesn't. But if it's worrying you, you can always send her a transmission at least, right?

[ His face drops into his hands, but it's not from sadness. ]

If I could do that, don't you think I would have?

[Ahsoka sits down next to him, then.]

... I'm sorry. You must miss them a lot.

[ His breath is a long rattle when he exhales. ]

Yeah. [ He bites his lip. Keep it together, he tells himself, but it doesn't stop his hands from shaking or his eyes from watering. ] Yeah...

[ The dam is about to break, and Lance forces his head up, sniffing loudly, then stands, just as Ahsoka is crouching next to him. He doesn't want her to see him cry. ]

O-okay. No sense moping around, right? [ He turns around to look at her, eyes still red but trying, visibly, to be upbeat. ] We still got the rest of this place to catch up on.

[ She offers him a genuine smile then, so different to her usual cocky grin. ]

... Okay.

[ Ahsoka understands well what it feels like to not want to cry in front of others, so she leaves it at that and stands. ]

If you want, though... if we ever figure out how to get back home from here, I'd be happy to take a message to your family for you.

[ His face heats up, a mixture of embarrassment and a kind of warmth he can't name, and so he glances away. ]

Thanks. Really. [ And then glances back. ] It means a lot.

[ She shrugs it off, a little embarrassed herself. ]

Yeah, well-- you know. It's not like I was doing much else anyway.

[ What's this? A moment of genuine connection??

TIME TO RUIN IT. ]

You could be doing m--

[ Because the gods above have decided Lance should be kept PG-13, he trips over a thick cable running across the floor, which makes him tumble right on his ass and into yet another terminal. He slams his head pretty hard, which serves him right, and incidentally dislodges a panel, revealing an inner compartment. ]

Ow...

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